Prologue
Hello world, I have not written anything for a little while even though I had plenty to write about. (I was either too lazy or did not feel like sharing those adventures with you all) So, I decided to write something about a subject that results in me having bad morning in average 2 days a week. Now I know what you are going to say. "Shut the fuck up Franky and stop bitching... there are more important problems in the world" and you are completely right! Boohoo Mr.Fuckin Obvious! I am totally aware of that. The reason for writing this is so that I can transfer my anger onto you all so that my head stays free of negative energy. You cannot put a good fight if your head is troubled. So hopefully, the next time this will happen to me... I can tell myself "alright you have already bitched about this to everyone on FB, it is now time to move on and get over it. There's nothing more you can do". Thanks for listening...
(obviously I am probably gonna head on a tangent half way through and end up having an argument with my left flip-flop over whether you should brush your teeth from top to bottom or from left to right... let's see how we go)
Hatebreeder
Everyday that I live, I realize that I hate allot of things. It is not like if I try to hate things. I guess I am just... human. I hate certain things and love other things.
This might or might not have happen to you. If it has, I am totally sure that you went "ARRRGGGRG FUCKIN HELL!!!".
So here is what happens 2 out of 7 days a week. I wake up. Sometime to the horn of my alarm clock. Sometime to the horn of those (fuckin) people who pick up news papers from 0900 to 2200 EVERYDAY. I spend about 10-30 minutes in my bed.
I stand up....
...
...go back to bed because I can not be fucked actually waking up just yet.
I get up again. I walk across my room. I bump into my computer chair. I miss the door handle and bang my head against the door. I open the door. I walk across the kitchen (my eyes are still closed at that time). I switch the hot water on. I take my underwear off (woohoo strip tease!!). I turn the water on and... AAaaaaAAAaaahhhh... a nice "hot" shower.
note: the bad part has not started yet. This is just standard waking up business.
So once I am done with my shower, I turn the water off. I push the extra water toward the drain using my foot (so that the bathroom does not turn into a 5th ocean). Then, I reach for the towel rack and....
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
....
(a bit more?)
...
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
I feel nothing! (I tend to hang my towel outside on the balcony because my bathroom is too closed up and the excess of humidity results in a very slow evaporation process.) So here I am, naked in my bathroom with only a pair of dirty boxer shorts to dry myself. At this point, I am furious because I know what is to come.
If I have not had enough sleep, I am the last person that you want to fuck with. Right there, my towel has fucked with me big time. The only problem is that I cannot bash the fuck out of my towel.
1. Towels do not feel pain.
2. Bashing a beach towel is simply an absurd notion.
So, I am left with 1 choice...
I wipe as much water off using my hands so that I will not need to put a yellow "slippery floor" sign in the kitchen. I slightly open the bathroom door and look if there is anyone out there. All clear? GO! I put my underwear in front of my genitals just in case that one of my flat mate has the (bad) luck of waking up at that time. I run across the kitchen. I bang my knee on a chair. When turning the lounge room corner, I slip and smash my head on the ground. I get back up. I run to the balcony. I grab the towel, then walk back into my room and slam the door in anger.
Now I do not know if any of your can relate to this but when that happens to me... I know there is a bad day coming up.
Scientific Analysis
Overall, being wet is not too much of a problem. I live in a hot country. It is actually refreshing due to the fact that your body will release heat in attempt to evaporate the water on your skin. So why so much anger?
I guess no one is comfortable with walking around naked in their house when a flat mate might pop out any time. (which results in running with wet feet and smashing your face on the ground... kind of dangerous when you think about it) There is a certain level of courtesy here but at the same time, humans tend to be afraid to reveal their sexual organs (or t see other people). If it was not the case, we would probably all be wondering around naked and would save on power by reducing our use of air conditioning. Actually, it would be kinda cool. You could not judge people by the way they dress. I guess people would find different things to judge you on like how saggy your breasts are or how small your dick is but hey... it is not like if you have chosen it. and if someone does not want to respect your body, fuck em, they are idiots anyway.
PS: now here I have to make something clear, big dicks are overrated. The day where your girlfriend will tell you not to put it all the way in, you'll be wondering what the fuck did that dude in school was talking about with his 12 inches.
I do kind of wonder why we are so afraid of our bodies. It is just flesh after all. Everyone has one. Everyone has seen someone else's body naked before. Sure if tomorrow everyone went out in the street naked, it would be kind of chaotic but after a year... it would just be a normal thing. But, it is not a new thing. Unless the history books were trying to make things more "user friendly", people have been covering their genitals for a very long time. The breasts seems to be a "new" thing. I believe some aboriginal tribes do not care about going topless which is totally fine in my book. I totally admire the boobs... (Big, medium, small... love em all.) It is (for some mysterious reason) a beautiful thing. Just like beautiful eyes or mouths. We currently "perve" on them (both men and women) since for a reason (that I do not happen to know), it is apparently not right to just look at them. Humans do enjoy looking at beautiful things. It stimulates your brain in a nice way. It gives us a reason to smile. I can go to museum and look at a beautiful painting of a naked person. Now here I might be weird but I do not have any intention of raping the painting because it depict a naked women. (don't know about the others...)
I remember having a discussion with some girl about how there is a difference between "perving" and admiring. All I can say is that the line is thin. To me, I "perve" so that I can admire without getting punched/slapped. She then went on about "having sexual though" while looking. Now here I have to represent the male community out there. We (dudes) can officially have sexual though out of... ANYTHING. I am sure that if I stare at my washing machine for long enough, I will eventually get a hard on. Sure boobs help since we have been brainwashed by the media about how it is a sexual "object" instead of a feeding mechanism. Now for the girls, I do not know how it happens but if you wanna have sexual though while looking at me (good luck),knock yourself out! I do not mind. I will even be flattered. As long as you respect my body, I am totally fine with it. No one needs to know about though so how can it possibly affect you?
There is also the issue of not wanting to see some things. Well look... some faces are not considered as beautiful. We do not require them to cover up for that reason. You do not have to look at what does not appeal to you.
Wrapping Up
So anyway, I could probably write a book on things I hate and beauty but I really need to go to bed. I will cut this right here...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Sepak Takraw!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sepak_takraw
ALAMAK!!!!
I just found my team sport! I know... I know... I usually HATE competitive sports but this one is everything I ever wanted. This is basically volley ball mixt with hacki sack
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hacky_Sack
Back when I was in primary/high school, we used to play allot of hacki sack during the breaks. I was actually one of the best player in the school yard (if you count the number of bounces that one can do...). Mainly freestyle hacki sacking... nothing special. I am still pretty good, I have trained my tricks (I can do landing, under the leg, 360... nothing compared to the pro circuit but still)
Anyway here is how this all happened. I was walking home from the pub after a very bad day at work. (just read kotaku to know what I am talking about) As I pass in front some court, I see a bunch of young Malaysian kids kicking some kind of ball above a net. I stop and study the game. It looks like some kind of volley ball soccer or something. I continue my journey home, drop my bag, have a chat with my flatmates and then tell myself "fuck this! I am gonna go see what this game is all about"
So I walk down there not really knowing what to expect. I have a cigarette while studying the game. Then the moment come. I walk to them and ask them if I can try. They kind of laughed in a way "yeah right, sif ang moh can play this". so I kick the ball a few time like hacky sack and swing it over the net. They were kind of impressed that I could manipulate the ball so well for my first attempt at the game.
So anyway, we played until the lights went off. We then shaked hands. They told me that I was quite good and that I should come back every friday to play with them! \o/
I really enjoyed the experience. This is a really fun sport. The funny part is that back in grade 9 when we were young pricks who did not give a flying fuck about school or anything else, we got requested to invent a sport. This was some leadership class where we had to make a project or something. The weird thing is that the sport that we came up with was exactly that sport. What we did not know is that it was already a full on sport being played for hundreds of years on the other side of the planet.
here's a video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_oiycbO3RU
ALAMAK!!!!
I just found my team sport! I know... I know... I usually HATE competitive sports but this one is everything I ever wanted. This is basically volley ball mixt with hacki sack
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hacky_Sack
Back when I was in primary/high school, we used to play allot of hacki sack during the breaks. I was actually one of the best player in the school yard (if you count the number of bounces that one can do...). Mainly freestyle hacki sacking... nothing special. I am still pretty good, I have trained my tricks (I can do landing, under the leg, 360... nothing compared to the pro circuit but still)
Anyway here is how this all happened. I was walking home from the pub after a very bad day at work. (just read kotaku to know what I am talking about) As I pass in front some court, I see a bunch of young Malaysian kids kicking some kind of ball above a net. I stop and study the game. It looks like some kind of volley ball soccer or something. I continue my journey home, drop my bag, have a chat with my flatmates and then tell myself "fuck this! I am gonna go see what this game is all about"
So I walk down there not really knowing what to expect. I have a cigarette while studying the game. Then the moment come. I walk to them and ask them if I can try. They kind of laughed in a way "yeah right, sif ang moh can play this". so I kick the ball a few time like hacky sack and swing it over the net. They were kind of impressed that I could manipulate the ball so well for my first attempt at the game.
So anyway, we played until the lights went off. We then shaked hands. They told me that I was quite good and that I should come back every friday to play with them! \o/
I really enjoyed the experience. This is a really fun sport. The funny part is that back in grade 9 when we were young pricks who did not give a flying fuck about school or anything else, we got requested to invent a sport. This was some leadership class where we had to make a project or something. The weird thing is that the sport that we came up with was exactly that sport. What we did not know is that it was already a full on sport being played for hundreds of years on the other side of the planet.
here's a video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_oiycbO3RU
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Escapade in Bangkok: take 2
The Beginning Of Time
Hello World! Believe it or not, after my last "disaster" in Bangkok, I decided to give that city a second chance on making me fall in love with it. Personally, I am not a big fan of Thailand's own "big apple". The place is very dirty. The air is thick and polluted. Even though the Thai people are very nice, allot of them seems to struggle on the issue of "putting food on the table" and therefore they are quite ready at the art of ripping you off. Unless you want to visit temples, or meet up backpackers to go somewhere else, I would not put the place on the top of my "holiday destination" list. As usual, I will try to keep this story as neutral as possible. I do not want to ruin the experience for the people who have not been there. I also will not disclose any names (apart for mine) so that I don't violate my mates' privacy toward "sensitive" subjects. (some of us might/might not have done "morally incriminating" actions while being over there and if I was them, I would prefer if people stayed discreet about those kind of things)
(I have to warn you, this will not be the most fantastic story that you have ever read. I personally found the trip to be quite average. Maybe it is because I am in a cynical phase... )
Several Weeks Ago In An Office Far Far Away
So, here's how it all started. A few weeks ago, one of my mate spotted some return tickets for 300$S. The plane left at 1900 O'clock on Friday and came back sunday night. It all sounded like a nice little fun trip to "BK" at the time. So, eight of us booked a ticket each with an "expensive" (~90$S a night) hotel room located ~10-15 minutes from Khao San Road.
Friday
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! *
...
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!!*
My body awakes itself at around 1200 O'clock by the noise of my alarm clock after ~1.5 days of constant sleep. Zombied out and sick from work exhaustion, my nose is completely congested with nasal mucus. I am coughing like there's no tomorrow and my head hurts like fuck. I realize that my plane is leaving in a few hours and that I need to pack up my bags, charge my batteries and make sure that I have some descent music on my MP3 player. Around 1500 O'clock, I leave for work to go meet up with my "traveling buddies". We head for the airport at around 1630 O'clock. We have a few drinks over there and then catch the plane at around 1900 O'clock. The plane ride is quite smooth, I manage to down 2 double gin and tonic in 2 hours. We land in Bangkok at 2015 Thai O'clock.
Finding the hotel is quite a mission since it is hidden on the canal away from the busy main road. We have a map but the cab driver does not speak English. He eventualy rings the hotel and ask them for directions. The place is quite nice. We do not waste time, unload our bags and get ready to go out for dinner.
We follow one of my mate who is quite experienced with Thailand in general. He brings us on a street where there's a few restaurants. We find a very nice place where the atmosphere looked very cool. The food is insanely delicious. I have some succulent Pad Thai with allot of spring rolls and one of the best Gin and Tonic I ever had. The rice is shaped as a teddy bear which is quite funny.
By that time, I feel like I am about to die due to the flue I managed to catch a few days ago. I have 2 options;
1. go back to hotel and sleep.
2. Utilize alcohol as a pain killer.
Obviously, I opt for option #2.
Some of us in the group are at their first trip to the land of smile so we decide to bring them on Khao San Road to show them THE backpacker party meet up place in Thailand. I can remember the bar "Immortal" from my last visit which is still in my book one of the best place in Bangkok. They always have rock/alternative/metal live bands with a balcony on the second floor and a "goth" club downstairs which always seems to be close.
We walk in on a thai hard rock/metal band that was playing covers from Metalica/Black Sabbath/AcDc/etc. Right there, I know I am at home. We have a few drinks there but obviously the place can not please everyone. We walk all the way to the other end of the backpacker road. One of my mate tells us that he heard of place called "something something Cowboy" which is meant to be the most happening place in Bangkok. It is already quite late and allot of places are shutting down. So, we grab 2 Tuk Tuk and order them to race each others to the place in question.
TukTuk ride in BK are always a big part of the fun. For those who do not know what I am talking about: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuk-tuk
I film a bit on night vision with my video camera. Every time the cars come close to each others, we try to slap the people on the other Tuk Tuk. We say hello to the people on other Tuk Tuks. We are Screaming and laughing. It is all fun...
The driver drops us on the street in question and right there by looking at the bar style, I know this is going to be just another "bar girl fest".
****************************WARNING****************************
The next section contains some "sensitive" subjects so I guess if you are easily offended... don't bother reading further. Also, I am a bit confused about which bar is which. I was getting a bit drunk and they all kind of looked more or less the same.
Personally, I think I prefer when girls dance with some clothes on... it keeps the imagination going and the desire burning. Also the Thai women are extremely beautiful, I really enjoy studying their physical features (with or without clothes). I have to say that some of those girls looked quite desperate and sad which can ruin the whole show if you actually bother sympathizing for them. But anyway, nothing that I have not seen before and it is usually quite a hoot in those places so I did not mind too much going.
*********************************************************************
Bangkok has quite an entertaining sex scene. For those who do not know, you can pay to see girls throw dart/banana/ping pong balls through their vagina which to me is VERY IMPRESSIVE. In my book, anybody who can score on the center of a dart board without using their hands is considered as "talented". I mean... some people can do maths... other can throw ping pong balls through their pussy. Whatever pays the bill...
So we get into this place where basically there is a stage with a bunch of girls dancing in cowboy boots (that is about all the clothes they had). After the first show, some girl get on the stage and all the others get off. She has a banana in her hands so we all know what is going to happen. She gets on her back, throws a banana in the air and accidently lands it into some guy's drink. We all crack up laughing. I also met some swedish guy in there who is pretty cool. He is coming back from Australia so we have a chat about Brisbane and we bring him to the next bar with us. (I know how it is to travel alone... it is allot easier to have people meet you then you meeting people)
This bar is a bit the same but we are actually sitting right in front of the stage. There is a midget girl who kept grabbing my dick and stealing my sun glasses/hat. Then I would go and steal it back from her. Also the dancers wants to dance with my sunnies so I lend them to her for a while. She then come back later on to literally sit on my head. (don't ask me why but it made people laugh)
Now here's where everything goes wrong.
I have to go for a piss and the toilet is up stairs. I climb up and go take care of my natural needs. On the way back, I realize that there is a big opening on the second floor which allows you to see the stage. There is also some "Tarzan ropes" so that girls can swing in the air above the platform. Some girl challenge me to swing (which at the time sounded like a good idea). I grab the rope as a joke and she pushes me! (I could have seriously injured myself here if I slipped from the rope. I was also quite drunk) So here I am dangling on a rope above a pack of naked crazy Thai bar girls yelling like an idiot. What I forget is that a rope will act like a pendulum so after swinging forward, you will also swing backward. Suddenly, I feel a serious pain in my back. My hip hit the sharp wall (I have a bruise and the next day, I had problem walking). Then I have the manager of the bar yelling at me to get off the rope.
I stumble back down the stairs and realize that one of my friend has a girl dancing on him. "That's it for him" is what I say.
A few bars later, most of the places are shutting so my mate's new "girl friend" brings us to some Thai disco called "Spicey" which is loaded with 2 things. Travelers are Hookers/bar girls. Anyway we dance our ass off. The place is quite happening. Allot of people! I eventually get home at around 0600 o'clock and directly passe out.
Saturday
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
...
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
"Franky wake the fuck up!" is what I wake up to. Now I am not simply hung over... I am completely fucked up! My eyes feel like if someone poored some Tabasco in them. My stomach is making backflips. I am completely sweaty since I forgot to turn the A/C on when I went to bed.
I yell something to them saying that I am staying in bed....
5 minutes later I wake up and ask them to wait for me down stairs. The plan for the day is to go to the weekend market to go bargain on some painting. Sounds good. We catch the canal boat which brings us near some train station. We can see allot of half decapitate houses on the river where locals live. We catch the train to some place. I am not paying any attention due to severe hung over and hunger.
We get to the weekend market and I really need to eat something. I missed breakfast so my stomach is screaming for food. We sit down outside of some mini restaurant to have some nice food (once again). We then take off inside the market. We realize that everyone want something different so we split. I am just sick and tired of waiting for people anyway so I just take off on my own. There is allot of different things to buy. As usual, I am seeking something stupid that is relatively clever at the same time. I am not really good at buying stuff. Since I do not have much time, it is really hard to find cool stuff and also bargain it to a descent price. I end up buying a very very ugly statue. It is that ugly that I find it cool. "perfect for my work desk" I tell myself. I manage to bargain it to a relatively cheap price. (still way more expensive than what it is actually worth)
Then finding the others is quite a mission in itself. The place is a complete maze. There is a few thousands of people wondering around and few hundreds of shops that all pretty much look the same.
We eventually meet up and catch a cab back to the hotel. My muscles are hurting quite badly so some of us decide to go for a thai massage. OMG I love those things. It completely cures my hang over. So we get one hour worth and then go back to the hotel to get ready for our final night out in BK.
We go to some backpacker restaurant which has quite a nice atmosphere. We order drinks and pizza. Chat about the usual and enjoy our time. One of the guy said that he knew a reggae bar so I really want to go there since I dig those kind of places. He brings us to a pub called "Hippie". I end up being extremely disappointed with the place. The setup is cool but the music is shit. Nothing to do with hippies. The place is the type where you go there with mates to drink and chat but the music is so loud that you ca not really chat. So after 1 drink, we settle the bill and I run outside to ask locals where is the reggae bar. They explain me to go into some back alley further down on Khao San Road. I lead the group there. We find it and have a drink there. I quite enjoy the place. They play some really good reggae tunes (not Bob Marley over and over). I play with a some girl's dog. But as usual, someone was not happy with a reggae bar so we move on to the next place. We are not too sure where to go so I suggest to bring them for Shicha in a Thai disco (not the bar girls type but the type of place where thai people go on a saturday night). We get in there and it is quite packed with locals. They stopped serving Shicha a while back so we just have a drink and watch the Thai Pop-Rock band. Dance a bit. Obviously, we cannot really communicate with the crowd since Thai people are quite reserved and do not usually speak english.
After that, we go to some other Thai club which end up being quite boring. We are sitting outside near a sewer or something. The place smells horrible.
We leave after one drink. Some of us go back to the hotel. Me and a few others told the some TukTuk driver to take us to some place "fun". The driver is a bit of a psycho. For some reason, I am about 90% sure that he is the same driver that I got the first time that I came to BK. He drives like a fuckin maniac (and I grew up with insane car drivers). Doing wheelies, turning corners on the skid and winding on the road. The 2 other guys are shit scared. I am enjoying a bit of action even though we might die in the next second.
He brings us to some brothel where the place is simply... seats... and then just a pack of girls sitting there waiting for you to go grab them and do whatever you got to do. Quite boring... at least if they are dancing, you get some entertainment but they are just sitting there. I try to explain the manager of the bar that his place is boring and then we leave.
We then walk down the road to see what is there. It happens to be the same disco that we went the previous night. Me and another guy just decide to go home while the others decide to keep going.
Sunday
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
...
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
This time it is not the door. I feel about as bad as the previous day but the noise is coming from the roof. It is about 0900 and there is some fuckin renovation on the roof. I am seriously cursed with sleeping disorder. I am an insomniac and I always have shit to wake me up too early in the morning.
I eventually get up and go down stairs for breakfast. We then left for Khao San road to do a bit of shopping. We go for food. I run back into some girl I met at the Thai Disco. She welcomes me by hitting me on the leg a few times with her knee. (I think that she was not impressed by me flirting with her on the previous night and not taking her home... )
One of the guy really wants to go see the elephant museum. On my side, I am too messed up to do anything so I just opt for the massage spa. We split up and find a place where they give full body treatment with herbs and stuff. We get the full things which I end up thinking that it is not that great after all. I think that I prefer Thai massages. More gymnastic and pain...
We then go back to the hotel. We get lost on the TukTuk and end up in some small alley where poor locals live. Quite interesting to see.
We pack up our bags and then leave...
I will spare you the details about duty free and what not... I think the story is long and boring enough.
The End Of Time
So overall... it was a trip to Bangkok. I guess I was not expecting much more than that. Maybe a bit more craziness would have been good. I am quite disappointed that we did not find an illegal elephant. That was my main purpose to go there.
I learned a few things about "group travel". 8 people is too much. There is always someone who does not want to do something that we are doing. Also I just hate waiting for people because they are wondering around in shops or looking at very banal stuff. It slows down the whole pace of the trip and you get to do less stuff. I think 4 would have been much better. You can fit everyone in the taxi and it is less different personalities to deal with. Anyway, I strongly doubt it but with a bit of luck... it is the last time that I have to go to Bangkok.
Hello World! Believe it or not, after my last "disaster" in Bangkok, I decided to give that city a second chance on making me fall in love with it. Personally, I am not a big fan of Thailand's own "big apple". The place is very dirty. The air is thick and polluted. Even though the Thai people are very nice, allot of them seems to struggle on the issue of "putting food on the table" and therefore they are quite ready at the art of ripping you off. Unless you want to visit temples, or meet up backpackers to go somewhere else, I would not put the place on the top of my "holiday destination" list. As usual, I will try to keep this story as neutral as possible. I do not want to ruin the experience for the people who have not been there. I also will not disclose any names (apart for mine) so that I don't violate my mates' privacy toward "sensitive" subjects. (some of us might/might not have done "morally incriminating" actions while being over there and if I was them, I would prefer if people stayed discreet about those kind of things)
(I have to warn you, this will not be the most fantastic story that you have ever read. I personally found the trip to be quite average. Maybe it is because I am in a cynical phase... )
Several Weeks Ago In An Office Far Far Away
So, here's how it all started. A few weeks ago, one of my mate spotted some return tickets for 300$S. The plane left at 1900 O'clock on Friday and came back sunday night. It all sounded like a nice little fun trip to "BK" at the time. So, eight of us booked a ticket each with an "expensive" (~90$S a night) hotel room located ~10-15 minutes from Khao San Road.
Friday
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! *
...
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!!*
My body awakes itself at around 1200 O'clock by the noise of my alarm clock after ~1.5 days of constant sleep. Zombied out and sick from work exhaustion, my nose is completely congested with nasal mucus. I am coughing like there's no tomorrow and my head hurts like fuck. I realize that my plane is leaving in a few hours and that I need to pack up my bags, charge my batteries and make sure that I have some descent music on my MP3 player. Around 1500 O'clock, I leave for work to go meet up with my "traveling buddies". We head for the airport at around 1630 O'clock. We have a few drinks over there and then catch the plane at around 1900 O'clock. The plane ride is quite smooth, I manage to down 2 double gin and tonic in 2 hours. We land in Bangkok at 2015 Thai O'clock.
Finding the hotel is quite a mission since it is hidden on the canal away from the busy main road. We have a map but the cab driver does not speak English. He eventualy rings the hotel and ask them for directions. The place is quite nice. We do not waste time, unload our bags and get ready to go out for dinner.
We follow one of my mate who is quite experienced with Thailand in general. He brings us on a street where there's a few restaurants. We find a very nice place where the atmosphere looked very cool. The food is insanely delicious. I have some succulent Pad Thai with allot of spring rolls and one of the best Gin and Tonic I ever had. The rice is shaped as a teddy bear which is quite funny.
By that time, I feel like I am about to die due to the flue I managed to catch a few days ago. I have 2 options;
1. go back to hotel and sleep.
2. Utilize alcohol as a pain killer.
Obviously, I opt for option #2.
Some of us in the group are at their first trip to the land of smile so we decide to bring them on Khao San Road to show them THE backpacker party meet up place in Thailand. I can remember the bar "Immortal" from my last visit which is still in my book one of the best place in Bangkok. They always have rock/alternative/metal live bands with a balcony on the second floor and a "goth" club downstairs which always seems to be close.
We walk in on a thai hard rock/metal band that was playing covers from Metalica/Black Sabbath/AcDc/etc. Right there, I know I am at home. We have a few drinks there but obviously the place can not please everyone. We walk all the way to the other end of the backpacker road. One of my mate tells us that he heard of place called "something something Cowboy" which is meant to be the most happening place in Bangkok. It is already quite late and allot of places are shutting down. So, we grab 2 Tuk Tuk and order them to race each others to the place in question.
TukTuk ride in BK are always a big part of the fun. For those who do not know what I am talking about: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuk-tuk
I film a bit on night vision with my video camera. Every time the cars come close to each others, we try to slap the people on the other Tuk Tuk. We say hello to the people on other Tuk Tuks. We are Screaming and laughing. It is all fun...
The driver drops us on the street in question and right there by looking at the bar style, I know this is going to be just another "bar girl fest".
****************************WARNING****************************
The next section contains some "sensitive" subjects so I guess if you are easily offended... don't bother reading further. Also, I am a bit confused about which bar is which. I was getting a bit drunk and they all kind of looked more or less the same.
Personally, I think I prefer when girls dance with some clothes on... it keeps the imagination going and the desire burning. Also the Thai women are extremely beautiful, I really enjoy studying their physical features (with or without clothes). I have to say that some of those girls looked quite desperate and sad which can ruin the whole show if you actually bother sympathizing for them. But anyway, nothing that I have not seen before and it is usually quite a hoot in those places so I did not mind too much going.
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Bangkok has quite an entertaining sex scene. For those who do not know, you can pay to see girls throw dart/banana/ping pong balls through their vagina which to me is VERY IMPRESSIVE. In my book, anybody who can score on the center of a dart board without using their hands is considered as "talented". I mean... some people can do maths... other can throw ping pong balls through their pussy. Whatever pays the bill...
So we get into this place where basically there is a stage with a bunch of girls dancing in cowboy boots (that is about all the clothes they had). After the first show, some girl get on the stage and all the others get off. She has a banana in her hands so we all know what is going to happen. She gets on her back, throws a banana in the air and accidently lands it into some guy's drink. We all crack up laughing. I also met some swedish guy in there who is pretty cool. He is coming back from Australia so we have a chat about Brisbane and we bring him to the next bar with us. (I know how it is to travel alone... it is allot easier to have people meet you then you meeting people)
This bar is a bit the same but we are actually sitting right in front of the stage. There is a midget girl who kept grabbing my dick and stealing my sun glasses/hat. Then I would go and steal it back from her. Also the dancers wants to dance with my sunnies so I lend them to her for a while. She then come back later on to literally sit on my head. (don't ask me why but it made people laugh)
Now here's where everything goes wrong.
I have to go for a piss and the toilet is up stairs. I climb up and go take care of my natural needs. On the way back, I realize that there is a big opening on the second floor which allows you to see the stage. There is also some "Tarzan ropes" so that girls can swing in the air above the platform. Some girl challenge me to swing (which at the time sounded like a good idea). I grab the rope as a joke and she pushes me! (I could have seriously injured myself here if I slipped from the rope. I was also quite drunk) So here I am dangling on a rope above a pack of naked crazy Thai bar girls yelling like an idiot. What I forget is that a rope will act like a pendulum so after swinging forward, you will also swing backward. Suddenly, I feel a serious pain in my back. My hip hit the sharp wall (I have a bruise and the next day, I had problem walking). Then I have the manager of the bar yelling at me to get off the rope.
I stumble back down the stairs and realize that one of my friend has a girl dancing on him. "That's it for him" is what I say.
A few bars later, most of the places are shutting so my mate's new "girl friend" brings us to some Thai disco called "Spicey" which is loaded with 2 things. Travelers are Hookers/bar girls. Anyway we dance our ass off. The place is quite happening. Allot of people! I eventually get home at around 0600 o'clock and directly passe out.
Saturday
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
...
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
"Franky wake the fuck up!" is what I wake up to. Now I am not simply hung over... I am completely fucked up! My eyes feel like if someone poored some Tabasco in them. My stomach is making backflips. I am completely sweaty since I forgot to turn the A/C on when I went to bed.
I yell something to them saying that I am staying in bed....
5 minutes later I wake up and ask them to wait for me down stairs. The plan for the day is to go to the weekend market to go bargain on some painting. Sounds good. We catch the canal boat which brings us near some train station. We can see allot of half decapitate houses on the river where locals live. We catch the train to some place. I am not paying any attention due to severe hung over and hunger.
We get to the weekend market and I really need to eat something. I missed breakfast so my stomach is screaming for food. We sit down outside of some mini restaurant to have some nice food (once again). We then take off inside the market. We realize that everyone want something different so we split. I am just sick and tired of waiting for people anyway so I just take off on my own. There is allot of different things to buy. As usual, I am seeking something stupid that is relatively clever at the same time. I am not really good at buying stuff. Since I do not have much time, it is really hard to find cool stuff and also bargain it to a descent price. I end up buying a very very ugly statue. It is that ugly that I find it cool. "perfect for my work desk" I tell myself. I manage to bargain it to a relatively cheap price. (still way more expensive than what it is actually worth)
Then finding the others is quite a mission in itself. The place is a complete maze. There is a few thousands of people wondering around and few hundreds of shops that all pretty much look the same.
We eventually meet up and catch a cab back to the hotel. My muscles are hurting quite badly so some of us decide to go for a thai massage. OMG I love those things. It completely cures my hang over. So we get one hour worth and then go back to the hotel to get ready for our final night out in BK.
We go to some backpacker restaurant which has quite a nice atmosphere. We order drinks and pizza. Chat about the usual and enjoy our time. One of the guy said that he knew a reggae bar so I really want to go there since I dig those kind of places. He brings us to a pub called "Hippie". I end up being extremely disappointed with the place. The setup is cool but the music is shit. Nothing to do with hippies. The place is the type where you go there with mates to drink and chat but the music is so loud that you ca not really chat. So after 1 drink, we settle the bill and I run outside to ask locals where is the reggae bar. They explain me to go into some back alley further down on Khao San Road. I lead the group there. We find it and have a drink there. I quite enjoy the place. They play some really good reggae tunes (not Bob Marley over and over). I play with a some girl's dog. But as usual, someone was not happy with a reggae bar so we move on to the next place. We are not too sure where to go so I suggest to bring them for Shicha in a Thai disco (not the bar girls type but the type of place where thai people go on a saturday night). We get in there and it is quite packed with locals. They stopped serving Shicha a while back so we just have a drink and watch the Thai Pop-Rock band. Dance a bit. Obviously, we cannot really communicate with the crowd since Thai people are quite reserved and do not usually speak english.
After that, we go to some other Thai club which end up being quite boring. We are sitting outside near a sewer or something. The place smells horrible.
We leave after one drink. Some of us go back to the hotel. Me and a few others told the some TukTuk driver to take us to some place "fun". The driver is a bit of a psycho. For some reason, I am about 90% sure that he is the same driver that I got the first time that I came to BK. He drives like a fuckin maniac (and I grew up with insane car drivers). Doing wheelies, turning corners on the skid and winding on the road. The 2 other guys are shit scared. I am enjoying a bit of action even though we might die in the next second.
He brings us to some brothel where the place is simply... seats... and then just a pack of girls sitting there waiting for you to go grab them and do whatever you got to do. Quite boring... at least if they are dancing, you get some entertainment but they are just sitting there. I try to explain the manager of the bar that his place is boring and then we leave.
We then walk down the road to see what is there. It happens to be the same disco that we went the previous night. Me and another guy just decide to go home while the others decide to keep going.
Sunday
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
...
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
This time it is not the door. I feel about as bad as the previous day but the noise is coming from the roof. It is about 0900 and there is some fuckin renovation on the roof. I am seriously cursed with sleeping disorder. I am an insomniac and I always have shit to wake me up too early in the morning.
I eventually get up and go down stairs for breakfast. We then left for Khao San road to do a bit of shopping. We go for food. I run back into some girl I met at the Thai Disco. She welcomes me by hitting me on the leg a few times with her knee. (I think that she was not impressed by me flirting with her on the previous night and not taking her home... )
One of the guy really wants to go see the elephant museum. On my side, I am too messed up to do anything so I just opt for the massage spa. We split up and find a place where they give full body treatment with herbs and stuff. We get the full things which I end up thinking that it is not that great after all. I think that I prefer Thai massages. More gymnastic and pain...
We then go back to the hotel. We get lost on the TukTuk and end up in some small alley where poor locals live. Quite interesting to see.
We pack up our bags and then leave...
I will spare you the details about duty free and what not... I think the story is long and boring enough.
The End Of Time
So overall... it was a trip to Bangkok. I guess I was not expecting much more than that. Maybe a bit more craziness would have been good. I am quite disappointed that we did not find an illegal elephant. That was my main purpose to go there.
I learned a few things about "group travel". 8 people is too much. There is always someone who does not want to do something that we are doing. Also I just hate waiting for people because they are wondering around in shops or looking at very banal stuff. It slows down the whole pace of the trip and you get to do less stuff. I think 4 would have been much better. You can fit everyone in the taxi and it is less different personalities to deal with. Anyway, I strongly doubt it but with a bit of luck... it is the last time that I have to go to Bangkok.
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